Being submissive in relationships doesn't mean being silent

I think you are a good example of someone who is submissive, is turned on by your husband's show of authority, but most definitely has her own mind and has limits.

This doesn't exclude you from being submissive except according to the oneupmanship "more submissive than thou" game some people play.

Everyone, but everyone, has limits. That goes for the men also. The reason some are able to claim they have no limits is that they have found themselves a relationship with a dominant man who has the SAME limits.

So if he is equally turned off by whipping you till you bleed as you are at the thought of experiencing that, you might think there are no limits. The same goes for other more edgy areas of S & M...or for being told what to eat for dinner and what clothes to wear.

When someone suggests something that is beyond the woman's limits, that is where the woman, with every right to do so, says No.

Well, Sarah, actually, one partner's mind might not be necessary in a very one-sided relationship..just her warm and available body might be enough. But clearly that isn't what most women aspire to being. And if they care about the relationship and where it is going they will speak up if the husband is making a huge mistake.

As for shrews, just like any other bully, male or female, learning to behave properly in a relationship is a good idea.