Being submissive in relationships doesn't mean being silent

2. Make a compromise decision

I do not think I would find it relaxing to obey if I wasn't happy to. “There are limits!” as my husband has said to me on more than one occasion. He would be as disturbed as I would if I let him make a decision that I really thought was wrong, and didn't tell him. “Why the hell didn't you tell me?” would, I think, be his response.

What I have found is that my husband can make me feel comfortable with submitting to him, by showing that he cares what I think. He expects me to tell him if I'm not happy with something. Rather than being punished for speaking my mind, I've several times been punished for not speaking my mind. “You're supposed to tell me things!” he points out. He would not appreciate it at all if I took the view that it will be his responsibility to sort out any problems caused by his decisions so I don't need to bother mentioning when I think he's making a mistake. Remaining silent would be rather callous and inconsiderate, I think. And when he makes a decision about an issue on which he knows we differ, I've found he will often make a compromise decision that I am happy to accept before I've even opened my mouth.

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